Things You Should Know Before You Enter Your 20s

The excitement of attaining teenage and thereafter early adulthood, growing up, seems magical. Getting the freedom to do whatever one wishes to can be exhilarating for any youngster. Free from parental control, dream college, first job, the list is endless. Is it all hunky-dory from there on? Or, does the excitement gets derailed? Does the transition from adolescence to young adulthood prove to be a cakewalk? Or is it a hurdle? Read on to learn about ways to lead a turbulence-free adulthood.

Family Is Where You Come Back

A family is a socially recognised group, bound by the DNA, and living together as a unit. The links are by marriage, adoption, or cohabitation. It often happens that in the drive to live with complete freedom and not be answerable, new adults end up taking their families for granted. However, know that your family, more so your parents, are who would welcome you back home, unconditionally. Do not leave them behind in the yearning to be independent. Time, once lost, shall not come back.

However Independent You May Become, Never Take Your Family For Granted

With Freedom, Comes Responsibility

In a tightly-knit family culture like India, turning into an adult is a celebration albeit with strings attached. The so-called umbilical cord remains metaphorically uncut. The tussle between the youngling and the parents is a constant. Why so? Probably, parents harbour a fear of the youngster’s vulnerability at being exposed to the world beyond home. A college or a job is the first step away from home, with new peers and colleagues, in an unfamiliar environment. Freedom is, however, natural as one grows older, but it has certain rules too:-

Awareness Of Consequences | It would be extremely important that you know the consequence of something you do or do not do. Any kind of recklessness in your newfound freedom can lead to undesired outcomes, to the extent of jeopardising your personal and professional life.

Onus Of Responsibility | You would be responsible for the actions you engage in, or the decisions you take. It can’t be ‘because of you’ or ‘your entire fault’ kind of blaming someone else, once you are an adult. As an adult, one is an equal partner to the happenings around.

Setting A Limit | Set limits for yourself based on your core values, so that you don’t end up misusing the freedom you have earned. For instance, if you are now free to go out and party with your friends without having to seek permission from your parents, you may limit it to once a week. Societal and family norms do need to be adhered to. A trust placed in you cannot be thrown to the winds in your newfound freedom.

Making Careful Choices | As an adult, you would have a choice to be either the leader or a follower. Blindly following the trends may drain you of your well-being, as well as finances. Individuality matters, but without defiance.

You Will Need To Take Responsibility For Your Actions And Choices

Also Read: How Does Parental Discord Impact A Teenager?

Communication Helps Encash Opportunities

Most of the opportunities, whether education or work-related, that come your way as an adult shall need a certain, minimum level of efficiency in communication. Some helpful tips to be a good communicator are the following:-

Receiving And Expressing | Receiving and expressing form the basis of any communication. The ability to listen well and respond accordingly is important. Jumping to conclusions, and impatience to cut in the other person’s conversation is a common mistake made by all. Learn to be a patient listener and a mindful speaker.

Careful Use Of Words | You should learn to use words carefully, both in written as well as verbal content. Slangs, cuss words, or labelling can be inappropriate under certain scenarios.

‘Dialogue Is The Way Forward’ | Overbearing opinions or stereotyped thinking are best avoided. No one is interested in ‘monologues’. ‘Dialogue’ is the way forward.

Body Language | Work on your body language, as the smallest of the gestures and posturing can impact your interaction with the other person.

Communicating Will Help You Make The Best Of Opportunities

Relationships Sustain When Nurtured

As one steps into their twenties, relationships go through a change too. With widening social arenas, the perceptions change. Preferences evolve over interactions in new associations and environments. Sustaining relationships becomes imperative for personal as well as professional success.

Be Open To The New | Being open to new experiences broadens one’s understanding of human nature. Interacting with people of all age groups, genders, cultures, and qualifications will help you form a healthy network.

Build Social Capital | Bonding with people based on common interests, goals, and trust leads to positive relationships which are pleasurable and long-lasting. Fair-weather friends may be good for a period but the fickleness often leaves a bad taste. Such people are self-centred and rarely form meaningful relationships.

Relationships Need Space | For forming and sustaining healthy and mature relationships, giving space is extremely important. Clinging, demanding attention, or displaying entitlement are grounds for toxic, unhealthy relationships, whether professional or personal. Be supportive and sensitive to others’ needs.

Keep Realistic Expectations | You would need to keep your expectations in relationships realistic, whether in a personal or professional relationship. Aspirations, dreams, and ambitions are good to have, but they need to be viable.

Relationships Thrive When You Nurture Them

Work Is The Best Teacher

Most likely, your earliest work experiences will come in your early 20s. Getting into your first job is likely to bring with it a variety of emotions, from excitement to nervousness. A few things you should know when beginning your career are the following:-

To Err Is Human | You are going to make errors in every job that you are new to. Learn from them. Do not hesitate to ask and seek help. Asking is not a weakness, but a reflection of confidence to learn and do better.

Learn From Reprimands | Take them in the right spirit. Respond, instead of reacting to reprimands. A response comes from the head and a reaction from the heart. Introspect as to what brought in a reprimand and do a course correction.

Believe In Yourself | Have faith in your ability as an individual and a teammate. Collaborate, corroborate, and celebrate the work. Don’t hard sell or undersell yourself. The worth of a person gets reflected in their work, as well as in their attitude.

Follow The Rules | Professionalism counts, whether in attire or conduct. Sloppiness and a loose tongue are a big ‘no’. Backstabbing, bad-mouthing, or a false bravado are not going to take you far, professionally or personally.

Avoid Perfectionism | Striving for perfection is a formula for easy frustration. Accepting the strengths and weaknesses of others, along with a reality check on one’s own capabilities helps keep a balance between aspiration and achievement.

At Work, Make 'Learning' Your Focus

Finances

Alluring pay packages, easy loans, and glittering malls altogether are like a spider’s web, enticing you into its net. Checks and balances are a must for sensible spending and masterly savings.

Know Your Responsibilities | Take stock of your responsibilities in consultation with your family. Extend monetary support, if needed.

Draw Up A Budget | Formulate a budget for controlled spending. Wasteful expenditure will end up burning a hole in your pocket. Distinguish between essentials and wants. Prioritise the ‘to buy’ list.

Keep Track Of Your Money | Remember, a fool and his money are easily parted. Succumbing to giving loans to friends can backfire, if not kept a tab on. Altruism is good, but not at the cost of personal losses.

File Your Taxes | Be timely with filing your taxes. Legal notices or inviting summons due to carelessness in ITR filing can be an unnecessary stress.

Invest Wisely | Investing your money is a great way to grow it. But, don’t be taken in by quick-fix schemes of money-making.

Learn Money Management | Financial Literacy, if not expertise, is a must.

Managing Your Money Is An Essential Life Skill You Should Know

The human life cycle is from a womb to the tomb, with each stage of life bringing in its own pleasures and perils. Freedom from parental control, enjoying financial independence, and leading an autonomous life call for a certain level of maturity, as well as self-control for smooth navigation. However, do not forget your family in the thrill of adulthood. They are an anchor, a safety net, a cocoon to come to and share your life experiences with. Learn to strike a balance between relationships, work, and yourself, and you shall be a happy and fulfilled adult.

Also Read: 8 Mistakes you should avoid making with your teenage child

Dr. Sanjana Seth is a Psychologist and Psychotherapist, registered with RCI, and holds more than two decades of practising experience with the healthcare organisations of the Armed Forces, as well as those operating as private. She is skilled in administering psychological assessments, providing therapeutic intervention and psychoeducation via talks, lectures, workshops, and literary articles. She has worked extensively for children with special needs, and has taught Psychology to students at undergraduate and postgraduate levels.