Parents, Don’t Shy Away From Talking Good And Bad Touch

The topic of “Good touch and Bad touch” is that elephant in the room which everyone knows exists but no one wants to discuss. No matter how uncomfortable some conversations may be, it is important that parents speak up and help their kids protect themselves. Let’s look at why parents must educate their children about this issue.

Statistics Of Child Sexual Abuse

A concerning statistic reveals that one in every two children in India has experienced sexual abuse before the age of 18 years, often by a family member or an acquaintance. While the stats are alarming, incidents of child sexual abuse accelerated during the Covid lockdown. In the first 11 days of the lockdown, Childline, an organisation dedicated to assisting distressed children, received 3.07 lakh calls; 92,105 of these calls were just related to abuse and violence against children.

As parents one must definitely not overlook such incidents and take measurable, foolproof steps to protect their kids from any harm. How can you do it? Here are some tips that can put you on track and you can always talk to fellow parents or experts on the topic about how to educate your children and aid them in protecting themselves.

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Protecting Children from Harm

Children are innocent but the world is not. Many nefarious elements of society might are ready to take advantage of your little ones. Teaching children to be alert and aware of what is acceptable and what is bad touch can be their defence mechanism against adults or even other children. Knowledge is empowering, they should be able to dismiss unsafe unwanted affection and body contact.

Builds Trust

Open communication about such topics strengthens the bond between the child and the parent. The child feels they can trust the parent enough to share their unpleasant experiences. Unfortunately, if there is an inappropriate incident with the child, he or she can reach out to their parents.

Recognising Warning Signs

Prevention is better than cure. These discussions can help the child identify potential threats. When children understand the meaning of boundaries they can understand the intention of potential predators. They can begin to trust their gut feelings or intuition about interacting with certain persons in and around the family. Early intervention can nip such unfortunate incidents in the bud.

Protect From Trauma

Abuse of any sort leaves traces of trauma for a lifetime. Young ones who face abuse are scarred for life. As adults it becomes difficult to interact with people and trust them. Such traumas also might lead to mental health issues. Parents can prevent this through a genuine and continuous reassuring conversations with their children.

Fear Of Judgement

If a child is unaware of the concept of what is good or bad touch they may not be able to identify that they are in an unsafe situation or in the company of a predator. This can lead the child to have mixed feelings when they sense negative or bad vibes about a relative or family friend who is supposed to be their parent’s trusted connection. They sometimes are unable to understand what’s happening is wrong; and they must speak up or tell their parents about it. Due to this confusion and lack of knowledge, the burden of the unfortunate incident lies heavy on the little one. If you educate your child about “taboo topics” beforehand they will know that they can come to you without feeling guilty.

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Understand Boundaries

When children are aware of the concept of good touch and bad touch they understand the meaning of boundaries. This knowledge of boundaries is helpful for them as they learn to allow only trustworthy people into their personal bubble. They also understand how to appreciate other kids’ space.

Secure Parents

If parents have an open discussion about good and bad touch with their child they become more secure about their safety. They know that their child can at least identify what is happening to them is not right. Children can stop and stand up against these situations. This makes the parents a bit secure in their safety outside the purview of their home.

Teach Them To Say ‘No’ Firmly

No is a sentence in itself. Teach your child to say it firmly, loudly, looking at their potential predator in the eye. At home too, start respecting their (child’s) wishes if they are okay to be hugged or kissed or picked up. When they see that mom, dad are listening to me, so should uncle, aunty, bhaiyya, didi, and all other people they are interacting with.

If Your Child Faces An Unfortunate Situation

Before we tell children what they should do, as parents remember to keep your emotions in check first. You have to look after a young one who doesn’t understand how to deal with theirs, so keep that in mind always. Now, if a child you know is facing an unfortunate incident of abuse, reassure them that it is not their fault. Whether they stopped the predator, if the child was aware they were getting abused or not etc is not important at this point in time. It is important for the child to be with people who care and love them unconditionally and can reassure them that they are in a safe place where they are trusted and loved no matter what.

Apart from this, parents should know that there are experts who can help you in such situations. There are laws that protect children in our country as well as internationally where child rights are protected in the most vehement manner. So reach out to experts who can help you deal with the situation as a family.

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Ensure Safety In The Digital World

Just as it's important to teach about safety in the real world, these lessons of being safe in the virtual space are also very important. Children today are extremely active on digital platforms. Parents have to make sure that their child is safe by teaching them about internet safety. Children should be aware of the repercussions of sharing personal information with strangers. When children are aware of potential online threats, such as cyberbullying, they are better equipped to protect themselves and stay safe in the digital realm. This knowledge protects their emotional well-being and promotes good online manners.