Build Habits, Not Goals: How Developing Habits Gives Better Results

Goals: Matter Of Conditioning?

We know, it is only human in the 22nd century to have goals, big or small and we have a certain idea of when and perhaps even how we wish to attain them. And much before we actually understand what goals really mean, we’re conditioned to have goals nonetheless. However, goals may not be the most solid framework to base building the path to success. Here’s why:-

Difficult To Define | We are asked to have big goals but not too big, ambitious but realistic, to attain them but to not be limited by them. We are told that as opposed to having vague concept goals like ‘I want wealth’ or ‘I want happiness’, having a more specific and tangible goal is preferred. But, making it too tangible might also make us seem like an unimaginative person or a boring person.

Perhaps this is where the problem with goals starts: ‘Goals’ as a concept in itself can be quite difficult to understand and define, and this is where habits take precedence. This is not to say we mustn’t have goals, but rather that to attain something in life, we need to focus on inculcating solid habits.

Finite | Goals have an endpoint, a destination has been reached unto. The process leads us there but then what? This is one of the reasons why many people relapse to their previous baselines after achieving a certain goal. Habits avoid these pitfalls because they continue indefinitely. For instance, someone who has a goal of losing 10 kgs of weight may bounce back to old unhealthy eating patterns once that goal has been reached, while someone who has developed a habit of eating healthy will not face a situation like that.

Depend On Multiple Factors | These factors can often be those that we do not always have control over. It’s an unavoidable fact that reaching a goal is not always possible, regardless of the effort put in. For instance, a student might have a goal to top his class but an unforeseen, sad circumstance that occurs at home hinders the process.

Need Regular Restructuring | Each problem requires a different solution and therefore goals need constant restructuring. This is one of the reasons why we also procrastinate, one, because it takes a lot of brainstorming and effort to think of and evaluate different solutions and two, because the unknown brings about fear. With habits, we already know what to do by default and thus the work is seamless and smooth.

For instance, a student who is aiming to crack a competitive entrance exam and working on last five years’ question papers might have to restructure their goals if the question paper pattern is completely changed, as compared to a student who has a habit of dedicatedly studying for certain numbers of hours a day and understanding each important topic.

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Goals Have An Endpoint, Whereas Habits Continue Indefinitely

Habits: Fuel For An Engine

Let us understand that habits are like the fuel within an engine, powering the life of the machine. Good habits (good quality fuel) help us reach our goals more effectively and efficiently and bad ones cause hindrances, stoppages, unnecessary delays or perhaps even prevent success entirely.

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit is persistence in practice.” This quote by Octavia Butler answers exactly why habits find precedence over goals.

Habits once built are easy to follow through, especially because our entire system is designed to work upon the language of repetition. Anything we repeat enough times becomes our reality, whether words, actions, thoughts or behaviours. Scientifically speaking, our brains and bodies facilitate this process, here’s how:-

Association And Repetition | Our brain is designed to create neural pathways out of anything we associate and repeat. For example, every morning saying a small gratitude prayer. After a few days of active practice, you will notice that the prayer becomes instinctive in your mind, even the semblance of morning will activate the neural connection.

Muscle Memory | The body has muscle memory, i.e. it remembers without our conscious cognitive activity. Just as we remember how to ride a bicycle or drive a car or walk or run or the routes in our neighbourhood, we remember habits. The body will activate the physical action required for habits.

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Habits Can Be Transformational

Building positive, growth-oriented, self-compassionate and self-disciplinary habits slowly transforms people’s lives. They begin seeing the passive self-sabotage they had been engaging with while also feeling a sense of autonomy in knowing what to do everyday to bring change. Let’s take this further and see how habits start a domino chain that quite simply alters our very psychology:-

Habits => Trust | When we start focusing on building habits, irrespective of big or small, we slowly begin to trust ourselves. When we aim for goals and rely externally, we find ourselves unable to trust ourselves. Like, trying to reach the goal of having 6 pack abs but unable to keep away from junk food. Instead, a habit to eat 3 fruits a day, run for 10 minutes, and exercise for 30 minutes every two days would lead to faster results.

Comfort With Ourselves | When we begin trusting ourselves, we also feel more comfortable and cooperative. We don’t feel flakey due to not meeting goals but rather understand that these are the little habits of the everyday. In the way one shows up in life, we see this authenticity in being comfortable in our minds and skins.

To conclude, habits are the building blocks of all and any success of the greater ambition but also of smaller goals towards that ambition. Habits are not only for growth but also to be better individuals, emotionally mature, build spiritual practices,etc. Always look for ways to affirm yourself by asking, what can I do for myself? Both the need as well as the solution will emerge and a habit will display itself.

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Nilanjana Parijat is a depth-oriented, and holistic wellness psychologist, with extensive experience in working with children, adolescents and families. She currently works with Reboot Wellness, Gurugram.