Cyberbullying Among Teenagers: How And When Should Parents Intervene?

In today’s day and age, we are virtually connected with the world more than ever with our tech gadgets having invaded our personal lives and ruled our private spaces. Social media sites are by far the ‘coolest’ places for kids to learn trends, socialise, hang-out, consume content, watch styles, celebs and share their own little, adventurous, private lives.

However, are we headed in the right direction? Are our children safe? Do they know the ill-effects of cyberbullying? Are they viewing age-appropriate content? What private details are they sharing with virtual strangers that puts them in vulnerable spaces? ‘Social networking’ is the buzzword today and it thrives on communicating with personal pictures, visuals, and information sharing but do children understand how dangerous this can become?

What Is Cyberbullying?

When technology devices like smartphones, Ipads, tablets, computers, gaming systems are used to bully (harass, threaten, target, intimidate, pressure, and embarrass) someone, they are said to be cyberbullied. It includes sending, posting, sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone. This could be a nightmare for adults themselves, so just imagine what young children go through when bullied in the worldwide cyberworld? And yet, it is an increasingly common phenomenon, especially amongst teenagers today. Cyberbullying is a crime and a punishable offence in India. One must report it in time.

Also Read | 8 Healthy Ways You Can ‘Give Space’ To Your Teenager

The legal framework of our country does not allow anyone under the age of 18 years to join any social networking group. And yet, the irony is that almost all children across middle and high school are on social media networks with fake ages, creating their own innovative profiles and have multiple accounts.

Effects And Impact

Children are constantly on their smartphones and they seldom take a break from their gadgets. The ill-effects are real. Their attention, concentration, and work is impacted and that further spirals to their grades and performance at school. It can lead to severe clinical anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and trauma.

On rare occasions it is easy to spot – if your child shares discomfort, a text, a comment, or a post that is mean, nasty, and outright cruel, you will pick it up. Most often, it is done carefully and clandestinely (by the bully to protect their identity) by using someone else’s credentials, a fake account, or posting someone else’ personal information, body- shaming someone using their personal pics, photos, and videos to hurt and publicly embarrass them.

Advise children to only befriend known people and not to click on links and files that ask for permission.

Signs Of Distress

Here are some indicators of distress in your child that you should be vigilant to:-

• Highly sensitive and emotionally upset behaviour while using their phones or the internet
• Abusive/aggressive language and behaviour
• Lack of focus and attention on academics and other interests previously enjoyed
• Changes in mood, behaviour, appetite, routines, sleep patterns
• Slipping grades and preoccupation with ‘zoning out’
• Increased anger outbursts
• Withdrawal from friends, activities
• School absenteeism
• Bunking social activities
• Being secretive about using their phones and gadgets
• Alienated and isolated, spiralling downwards
• Weight loss
• Being ‘jumpy’ with alert noises and cynical most of the time.

Also Read | Having A Holistic View Of Education: Why Parents Need To Modify Perspective

Role As A Parent

How should you as a parent step in?

Be Aware | Be aware of the content, sites, and portals that your children view and restrict them from using social media apps until they come to a sensible, appropriate age.

Talk To Them | Understand and normalise their experience and get details of the bullying to do the right thing to get the child the closure they might need.

Take Immediate Action | Complain to the right authorities at school, state and national level should things become ugly, and it starts to impact your child’s mental health.

Limit Screen Time | Restrict screen time so that the children do not get addicted and hooked onto games and sites that are not meant for them.

Safe Gaming Practices | Identify safe games for them. Teach them to not share any personal information with strangers they meet online.

Beware Of Phishing Scams And Websites | Don’t let them click on links that lure them especially that shout out free deals, prizes, awards, money amounts, scams – lotteries, crypto scams, scary messages, data can easily be stolen. Fake sites are designed to hack into your system and accounts.

Maintain Records | Keep screen shots, messages, and pictures handy as evidence, should you file a complaint.

Protect Personal Information | Our banking information, passwords are today, all stored on our gadgets. Every app is linked to e-wallets, Gpay, Paytm that can be misused.

Also Read | 3 Reasons Your Teenager Does Not Listen To You

Check Account History | Check your children's social media accounts' histories from time-to-time and teach them how to use the internet appropriately. Should they know a topic well, encourage them to teach you a thing or two.

Befriend Friends Only | Advise children to befriend only known people, servers, and not to click links or files which ask for permissions.

Maintain Cyber Hygiene | Remind your kids to change their passwords often and ensure that they use a capital letter /small letter / number / special character.

Also Read | Why You Need To Draw Boundaries With Your Teenage Child

Monitor Online Activity | Digital well- being calculator on your phone will help you balance and teach them the same so that they are always aware of the time they spend online.

Nandini Raman is a Consultant Counselor; Corporate Trainer; and Columnist with a leading English newspaper. She contributes to a successful weekly column on career guidance and choices. With more than fifteen years of experience in the field, Nandini is guest faculty at many prestigious schools, colleges and training institutions. She is a hands-on parent to two teenagers.