5 Helpful Tips To Resolve A Fallout With Your Friend

Of all the relationships we have, friendships are often the most personal and meaningful. They offer us a sense of companionship, support, and shared experiences that can enrich our lives. Friendships and interpersonal relationships are an integral part of our lives, but even the strongest bonds can be tested from time to time.

A fallout or a conflict with a friend can be an emotionally challenging experience, leaving us feeling hurt, angry, and confused. However, it's essential to remember that conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, and it's possible to resolve them with the right approach.

Whether you're dealing with a minor disagreement or a significant conflict, the insights shared here can help you navigate the road to reconciliation and rebuild a strong and lasting bond with your friend. This article will explore some ways to deal with and move past a fallout in a positive and fruitful manner.

Why Are Friendships Important?

We all have different kinds of friendships in our lives—acquaintances, people from our network, work friends, school friends, and childhood friends, among many others. Each person in our life who we consider our friend is important. Each bond we create, cultivate, and maintain is an investment in our long-term happiness and quality of life. Let’s look at how friendships play an essential role in our lives for different reasons.

Emotional Support | Friends provide emotional support and comfort during difficult times and help us to feel less alone.

Social Interaction | Friendships provide opportunities for social interaction and help us to feel connected to others, reducing feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Shared Experiences | Friendships often involve shared experiences, such as hobbies, interests, and activities, which can be enjoyable and create lasting memories.

Personal Growth | Friends can challenge us to grow and develop as individuals, by providing different perspectives and encouraging us to try new things.

Also Read | Why It Is Okay To Have Few Friends

Reliability | Friendships are built on trust and reliability, providing us with someone to count on when we need help or support.

Improved Mental Health | Studies have shown that people with strong social connections, including friendships, have lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression, and generally enjoy better mental health.

Friendships Are Built On Trust And Reliability

Is Having Conflicts Okay?

Take a moment to imagine a friendship with absolutely no disagreement or no differences of opinion, at first thought it may seem lovely, however, once we put more thought into it, the relationship may seem mechanical or robotic, almost boring. Human beings are diverse creatures, we have different ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and beliefs, and no matter how similar we are to our friends, there will be some differences there.

The beauty of friendships is when we are able to share these different notions without fear of being judged or misunderstood. Having said that, it is possible to fall into a conflict while doing so, this would mean that the person has value in our lives enough to care. If we didn't value someone, we definitely would not waste the energy required to deal with that conflict.

Why Do Conflicts Occur?

There are different reasons why conflict occurs, some of them could be:-

Misunderstandings | These can easily occur in friendships when one person's intentions or actions are misinterpreted by the other person.

Differences In Opinions | Differences in values, beliefs, and lifestyle choices can cause conflict in friendships, particularly when they clash with the other person's views.

Envy | Feelings of jealousy or envy can arise in friendships, particularly when one person feels that the other person is receiving more attention, praise, or success.

Lack Of Communication | Communication breakdowns can cause conflict in friendships when one person feels that the other person is not listening, not taking their concerns seriously, or not responding to their needs.

Betrayal | Deception in the form of lying, cheating, or breaking confidence can be a severe breach of trust in a friendship, leading to significant conflict and even the end of the relationship.

Whatever the cause of the conflict, whether it is a minor misunderstanding, ineffective communication leading to hurt, or a severe conflict that might lead to the end of the friendship, there are ways to reflect, evaluate, and deal with them.

Also Read | Why Should You Forgive? 5 Reasons Why Forgiveness Is Helpful

Resolving Conflicts

As cliche as it may sound, experiencing a conflict with a friend is uncomfortable no doubt, but it also paves the way to a stronger, more reliable friendship. This is because we gain a better understanding of each other, and we learn to listen; dealing with it shows that we value their presence in our lives. Here are some tips or things you can do to deal with a conflict when it arises.

The 80:20 Rule

In every relationship we have with others, it is beneficial to think in your mind that you are giving 80 percent to the relationship and the other is giving 20 percent. This may seem unusual at first, but it is usually the case with everyone. We all feel at some point we are giving more.

By following this rule, we learn to let go of unrealistic expectations. We understand that they are giving as much as they can, whether we are able to see it or not. The way each person feels, expresses love, and shows how much they value us, is unique, the 80:20 rule gives both parties space to be themselves without unnecessary expectations.

Valuing Your Friendship

When there is a conflict, it is easy to give into the heat of the moment and say or do things that just simply hurt. When this happens, it is important to understand what value that person has in your life. Think back to different situations when the other person was there for you. The first step is understanding the importance that person has in your life, only then can the anger and frustration start reducing.

Acknowledgement And Acceptance

In any conflict situation, it does no good to suppress how you are feeling because it will spill out into other areas of your life. Take time to truly understand and acknowledge how you felt and what bothered you, after that, it will become easier to express it to the other person and will help in moving forward in a positive way.

Take Time To Understand And Acknowledge How You Felt

Take Responsibility

It takes two hands to clap, whether your actions were part of the falling out or if it happened when you confronted your friend about it. It is vital to understand where you went wrong as well and then address it together. In a friendship, especially intimate ones, more often than not the reactions stem from concern, care, and love. Bring your awareness to that, take responsibility for it, and apologise for where you went wrong, without blaming each other

Spend Time

Take some time out to spend with each other, it helps to keep having conversations and discussing what can or can't be done. It also helps to create new and better boundaries and repair the relationship in a manner that is natural and comforting. All this effort that is put into this will cultivate a much stronger bond filled with respect and love for one another.

Strong and real friendships are essential to a fulfilling life. So try to resolve each fallout you have with a friend you deem important to your life. Not only will it make you feel like you’ve done the right thing, but your friendship with the person will also get strengthened.

Also Read | Self-Care Tips To Feel Happy And Rejuvenated

Ichha Bhan is a counselling psychologist, and personal growth coach. She holds more than 5 years of hands-on experience in working with children and adolescents, helping them and their parents navigate shared emotions, and the challenges of growing up.