5 Things You Must Tell Your Child Before They Leave For College

Letting your adolescent go to perhaps the biggest milestone experience of their young lives – their college years, is indeed an exciting yet stressful experience for every parent. Both, the parents, and the children have mixed emotions and feelings as this process unravels. The children, as thrilled and excited as they are to finally get away from home and experience their newly-attained freedom, might also undergo intense pangs of anxiety, nervousness, and uncertainty about what the future holds.

You want to make sure that your child is well-prepared and ready to welcome this new chapter in their life with enthusiasm and zest. It is indeed a fine balance that needs to be maintained and the only way to do this is by having open and honest conversations with your child before they set out to college.

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Here are five non-negotiable values and life skills that you should talk to your child about as they get ready to fly out of the nest.

Safety

Newly acquired freedom can be tempting for the young teenager as it is filled with mixed signals of being told you are an adult and yet a child in many ways. Irrespective of whether the college is in the same city or away from home, they need to know that college life is full of new experiences and adventures, and may bring some unfamiliar challenges. So their safety—physical, emotional, psychological, and financial is of absolute importance.

Discuss Responsible Behaviour | Talk to them about their responsibilities and discuss strategies for staying safe on campus, making new friends, walking with a friend, walking on well-lit roads or corridors, avoiding being extra adventurous and getting into dangerous situations both on and off campus, especially if they are not staying in the college hostel but outside the college premises.

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Caution Against Risks | It is important to have an open and honest conversation with your children about the desire to "grow up" at a young age and the risks that come with experimenting, such as alcohol and drug use, or engaging in age-inappropriate physical and sexual activities. Encourage them to make responsible and sensible choices that prioritise their safety and well-being.

Communication

There is so much that happens during college that it is essential to stay connected to your child through their innumerable experiences. You need to be available as their security blanket, as a speed dial SOS contact through the good, the bad, and the ugly, the successes, and more for the failures and the disappointments that they will undergo. Their fights, disagreements, venting – whatever they need support with – be there for them.

Refrain From Nagging: Do not give them unwarranted advice or nag and correct them on everything that they share with you lest they reduce their communication slowly. Instead, have good faith, trust them, listen to them attentively, and step in – to motivate and encourage them from time to time. Let them know that you are always going to support them and ‘hear them out’.

Academic Expectations

College is a time for academic growth and development. Speak to your child about academic expectations that they need to set for their own selves.

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Irrespective of its various challenges, it is by far the most beautiful experience to see your child come into their own.

Talk to them and sensitise them on the importance of attending classes, staying in touch with the subject lectures, turning in projects, assignments, and submissions on time, and not shying away from asking for help should it be needed. Let them also understand the grading system and evaluations. Guide them to be mindful of internal tests and external exams and set their own academic goals for success.

Time Management

College life, hostel living, newly-formed social demands, being independent, pursuing other hobbies and interests, learning new subjects can all become overwhelming if the child is not aware that time is a finite resource. They might need help scheduling coursework, extracurriculars, and everything else that would have otherwise been taken care of at home for them.

The schedules can also slip from time to time – so gently check-in and help them develop strategies to manage their time effectively. Discuss the importance of setting priorities and identifying urgent and important matters from the ones that are not so pressing. Ensure that they make time for exercise, self-care, and that they get enough sleep and rest.

Finances

Take the time to teach them the basics of budgeting, financial planning, and maintaining expenses in a simple excel sheet. They might initially ask for more money from home but in a few months, they will understand and know how much money they need every month to stay afloat comfortably.

Let them know the cost of their education and their college expenses—tuition fees, accommodation, travel, food, other classes, fitness, or a gym membership—all adds up. There will be some trial and error here but, in a few months, you will notice your young child blossoming into a responsible mature young adult.

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Irrespective of its various challenges, it is by far the most beautiful experience to see your child come into their own. With your love, support, guidance, care, concern, communication, and gentle checking-in, you will be able to not only prepare them for this new chapter but ensure that they thrive and make the college experience worthwhile for themselves.

Nandini Raman is a consultant counselor, corporate trainer, and columnist with a leading English newspaper. She contributes to a successful weekly column on career guidance and choices. With years of experience in the field, Nandini is a guest faculty at many prestigious schools, colleges, and training institutions. She is a hands-on parent to two teenagers.