Working From Home And Parenting: Giving Your Best To Both Worlds

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought many parents to a point where they have no choice but to manage office work while staying at home. Although quite a few people have resumed going to office since restrictions have eased, most organisations are following a hybrid model, wherein employees are required to juggle between working from home and working from office.

The effects the pandemic has brought about in our personal and professional lives are likely to last long. In my sessions with parents, they often share the challenges they face while trying to manage being a parent and a professional while working from home, which is why I thought I should write a piece on this topic This is likely to help a larger number of people facing a similar issue.

Challenges Faced By Parents While Working From Home

• Parents often express that they feel like they are being pulled in two different directions while working from home. There is a lot to be done at work, and at the same time, for the children. Not being able to do justice to either brings guilt.
• Working from home requires parents to be on their toes all the time. While handling office work and meetings, they have to be their child’s teacher, instructor, friend, and play-buddy. Switching back and forth between these roles may get overwhelming.
• The stress of managing multiple roles at the same time also makes parents lose their patience sometimes, which gets projected on children in the form of punitive measures, thereby straining their relationship.

Ways To Manage Working From Home And Parenting Together

All challenges understood, there certainly are ways that can help parents efficiently manage their work responsibilities and parenting time while staying at home. Let us discuss a few of them.

Communication

A lot of times, most of the communication between parents and children revolves around academics, classes, and homework. And, if you think about it, you may realise that children often answer these questions half-heartedly, showing little or no interest. Parent-child conversations should go beyond that, and parents must initiate more in-depth conversations so that both the child and the parent are able to empathise with each other. Proper communication has great potential in terms of uplifting any relationship.

3 A’s: Acknowledging, Accepting, And Appreciating

Remember to follow the 3 A’s at home with yourself, your partner, and children as well. Like adults, children have also suffered and lost out on a lot, due to the pandemic and lockdowns. ‘Acknowledge’ feelings and emotional vulnerabilities, ‘accept’ and embrace the challenges faced, ‘appreciate’ yourself for the efforts put in even if they are seemingly small. Managing work and raising a child at the same time is not easy. Understanding that everyone is trying to figure out and deal with the uncertainties this pandemic has brought in would help in building deeper human connections, make things more relatable, reduce irritability, and increase tolerance.

Time Management: Urgency And Priority

Not all tasks are urgent and important at the same time. Sometimes, it becomes overwhelming when we have our platter full and have to perform daily chores, take care of children, and meet office deadlines as well. It will be helpful if you segregate the tasks as per their urgency and importance at the moment. For instance, it might be important to complete a work project, but it might not be urgent, since you have ten days’ time to complete it. On the contrary, it might be urgent to help your child complete a school assignment that they have to submit the next day. Hence, organising tasks based on their urgency and priority may help you feel more comforted and relaxed, thereby increasing your productivity in whatever you do.

Self-Care

Prioritising one’s own emotional, physical, and psychological health is essential. If you want to take care of others’ needs and wants, you can only do it lovingly when you are in a sound physical and mental state. Therefore, it is needed that parents take out time to nurture their hobbies and skills, or simply treat themselves to some leisure activities from time to time. Also, practising gratitude is a great way to ground yourself. Every morning, or every night, thank the universe, or whichever higher power you believe in for at least three things in your life.

Healthy and Flexible Routine

Take Time Out Of Your Routine For Your Kids

Avoid creating very rigid schedules or timetables for yourself or your child, since they may put you more in a state of discomfort rather than comfort. Do plan your days in advance, but also leave room for impromptu activities you may wish to engage in. The same applies to your child. Encourage your child to be disciplined, but at the same time allow themselves some flexibility.

Healthy Boundaries

It is essential to clarify to your family that working from home does not mean that you would be available all the time for personal/household work. While a few things can be managed during office breaks, you should refrain from taking up any major personal work during office hours. You may need to be explicit about certain things in order to manage expectations and create healthy boundaries.

Assign A Separate Place For Work

Another important thing is having a place designated for work within your house premises. An environment wherein parents are working from any corner of the house, or children are attending classes on a bed or sofa, is likely to create a sense of chaos and lack of structure. Assign a separate place within the house for work and classes, so that everybody takes rules and structure seriously. Children are more likely to follow a structure when they see their parents doing it.

Role Setting

If both or either of the parents is working from home, it’s important that couples realistically sit and talk about the responsibilities they would take up with regard to the household and children. One of the spouses should not get overwhelmed with all the responsibility. It’s important to acknowledge that not all battles are to be fought alone. When living under one roof, everyone should contribute in their respective capacities.

Your Kids Are Watching You

Please keep in mind that your kids watch you and learn from you. The way you deal with the demands of daily life, and how you interact with your partner, as well as others in the family, has a great impact on them. Their worldview is formed by observing you. Therefore, it is important to model healthy behaviours and coping mechanisms (here, with reference to the stress of managing multiple things at a time) at home.

The pandemic has left its impact, both positive and negative, on all primary and secondary aspects of our lives. However, life comes with its set of challenges at different points in time, and in order to come out better versions of ourselves, we need to churn our way through all changes. Working from home and being a parent might initially seem like a daunting balance to strike, but it can certainly be achieved with some thought and mindful action.

- Priyanka Bakshi is a child psychologist accredited by the Rehabilitation Council Of India (RCI). She holds extensive experience in helping children, adolescents, and their parents work towards socio-emotional wellness, and heads the Child Guidance And Counselling vertical at Daffodils Therapy Studio, New Delhi.