A Letter To My Child Who Passed Without Distinction

To

My Son/ Daughter, at the milestone completion of your X/XII grade.

Many congratulations to you on passing this milestone public examination and on the eve of your results being declared, I saw you carrying this heavy feeling in your heart and being unhappy and upset with your results. Yes, you didn’t score as you wanted, yes it makes you sad, upset and disappointed, but my dear child, this academic battle is all done and dusted now. It is over and it does not matter anymore! We need to move ahead and as the cacophony of the celebrations and all the merriment settles amongst your classmates and batchmates, I don’t want you to feel lost, alone, low, sad and so I thought it was best to write this letter to you!

I want you to know my dear child that your board results do not define you. While you may feel dejected with your marks, please know that I am not upset. I am proud of you for all the hard work and effort you put into preparing and taking these exams. Life is full of experiences and surprises. We will win some challenges and lose some! The ones we don’t win should be converted into life lessons, so that we don’t repeat the same errors and get blinded and thrown off by the bling enroute the next time.

Also Read | How To Identify, Prevent, And Fix Parent Burnout?

As your parent, I understand that for your calibre, it is demotivating and discouraging to receive an average score, especially when you were hoping and gunning for something exceptional. However, mark my words - this is not the end of the road and certainly not of the world. Always remember that “marks” are only one, small part of your academic journey. Important and significant yes but not all encompassed! They are not the ultimate measure of success in life. They will certainly help open doors to significant courses and admissions but again, your overall success in life is all up to what you choose to do and make of your life! Nothing is decided by this marksheet alone; you have your entire life ahead of you to shine and be proud about your achievements.

You have many other talents and abilities that cannot be measured by a mere test score. You are creative, intelligent, kind, compassionate, understanding and have a unique perspective of the world that makes you special. You have a kind heart and are always willing to help others. These are qualities that cannot be measured by an exam, but they are what make you truly exceptional.

So, take a moment and remember that it's okay to make mistakes and to face setbacks. Life is not always easy, and it's through our failures that we learn and grow. Take this as an opportunity to reflect on what you could have done differently and work towards improving your skills. Identify your goals, the timeline for them to fructify and most importantly your time management to get where you want to, as there are going to be many distractions and tempting detours along the way!

I am confident that you will only continue to improve and grow. I am here to support you in any way that I can, and together we can work towards your academic goals. I want you to know that you are capable of achieving great things in life. Don't let this one exam grade define your self-worth, self-esteem and shatter your confidence. You are so much more than just a number or a letter on a report card. You have so much to offer the world, and I can't wait to see what you accomplish and how life unfolds for you.

I don’t want you to brood about this anymore. It is important to have open and honest conversations with whatever it is that you are experiencing as a consequence of these results. You will always have my attention and committed listening ears to discuss your concerns.

Please work on yourself, your fitness, your sports and also identify your emotions and feelings that need a vent and validation. Plan your academics going forward. Will be happy to help you meet professional resources (a counsellor, a mental health professional, or a doctor) to speak with and ease your mind. In the meantime, no unhealthy coping skills (alcohol, drugs, excessive caffeine or sugar, mindless partying, self-harm) will help you cope or move forward and so, make sure that you stay away and that your functionality is not impacted and you are still able to carry on your daily tasks. Nurture your other interests and make time for your hobbies as they will keep you balanced and grounded.

In case you feel most vulnerable and for some reason I am unavailable, do not hesitate to seek immediate help, call a friend, your trusted relative or crisis hotline or if necessary visit the nearest emergency room should you have negative thoughts.

Also Read | What Must Parents Do To Maintain Healthy Sibling Rivalry?

In short, my dearest - Please know, I love you, and I am proud of who you are. Together, we will work towards achieving your dreams. Please don't be too hard on yourself. You are capable of achieving great things in life, and I believe in you.