Tips On Millennial Parenting For Rebellious Teens

Millennial parents, (born between early 1980s through 2000) find themselves facing unique challenges in raising rebellious teenagers. They are experiencing increased stress navigating the complexities of parenting, raising their teens. ‘Generation gap’ is real and irrespective of the intent of every parent-teen conversation it turns argumentative and almost every discussion ends up in a ‘power struggle’ with the young adult feeling misunderstood. This adds an extra layer of complexity to the parenting dynamic making the parents feel quite inadequate, inferior, powerless and isolated.

The parents have a hard time keeping in check with the fast-paced demands of this generation's technological advancement, gadget addictions, new vocab, slangs, lingo, ‘situationship’, sexuality, communication styles and definition of a ‘good life’. Let us explore some effective strategies to help the millennial parents deal with rebellious teens and maintain a healthy parent-teen relationship.

Develop Empathy

Parents be mindful that you were also once hot blooded teenagers and life was surrounded with drama (even if it was not as intense as now). Understand that this transition of becoming a young adult is tough for the teens as well. “You are no more a child and not an adult just yet!” is hard to understand and process. Be gentle and firm and look at the situation from their point of view and give them the benefit of the doubt before all hell breaks loose.

Set Realistic Expectations

Understand that academic and career paths may vary, and we need to become comfortable embracing diverse interests, choices and passions. They are not as straightjacketed as we were and it is absolutely ok. They will push the envelope! It doesn’t make them deficient or inadequate, in fact on the contrary just the opposite. We need to encourage their self-discovery and personal growth as it will lead them to a sense of purpose and fulfilment, eventually.

Balance Authority and Friendship – Be a Democratic Parent

Millennial parents struggle to be both authoritative figures and friends to their teens. They want to play a strong parental role while cultivating a positive, friendly, supportive relationship with their children. However, this delicate balance is challenging to achieve, as teens might exploit the "friend" to bypass certain rules or responsibilities. Stay balanced and consistent with clear boundaries and expectations while being approachable and empathetic.

Also Read- Insights Into A Teenager's Mind - For Parents To Know

Encourage Independence and Responsibility

As parents, millennials value independence and responsibility and encourage these traits in their teens. Allow your teens to make decisions and face the consequences of their actions to develop and mature. Age-appropriate discussions about responsibilities, managing finances, household chores, and time management are crucial to prepare them for adulthood and foster a sense of accountability. When they do something right, appreciate them.

Open and Transparent Communication

Unlike previous generations, millennial parents recognise the importance of open and transparent communication with their rebellious teens. Be receptive to your children's feelings and actively listen to their concerns (even if it is not a big deal to you!), thereby creating a safe space for honest conversations. Do not lecture them. Do not label, judge, use sarcasm. This will ensure that they have a solid support system even when they fly off the nest.

Be Mindful and an Active Parent

Do something nice for your teen. Write them a small note to wish them luck for an upcoming test, pack a favourite snack, take them out for a milkshake, watch a movie, spend quality time with them and let them decide what activity they would like to engage in with you. Give him the autonomy to feel like an adult. This is not a ‘reward’ for good behaviour but because you just love him. This time together will also help uncover if they are having a hard time with anyone/anything and you to take a sneak peak in their busy, chaotic lives.

Embrace Technology as a Parenting Tool

Leverage technology as a parenting tool to connect with your teens. Utilise social media, messaging apps, sports and PTA school forums, to stay informed about your teens' activities and monitor their online behaviour discreetly (to just be aware and not over involved). Respect their boundaries and engage in open discussions about the responsible use of technology, online safety, and the potential risks associated with excessive screen time and the internet.

Also Read- Curiosity Is Harmless, How Does It Help Your Child?

Talk About Life’s Challenges

Encourage difficult conversations with your teen and their peers - be it about alcohol, tobacco, drugs, dating apps, protection, their sexuality, choices, the hair and nail colour, clothes, style quotient, body image issues, academics, internships, working, their definition of success etc.. without any bias and preconceived ideas and notions. Understand that Gen Z love to travel, are money driven and ambitious, prone to anxiety, avid gamers, love to travel and hustle. Their generation loves to speak up and they live under the influencer effect and so many times the logic of a millennial parent seems outdated and obsolete!

Practice Self-Care

The importance of self-care is underrated. The parents need to understand that maintaining their physical and mental well-being enables them to be more patient, empathetic, and resilient as parents in addition to being better spouses and professionals. Take and make the time to nurture and rejuvenate yourself from time to time. Invest in ‘me-time’ and ‘we-time’ as a family. Some self-care activities, like exercise, mindfulness practices, pursuing hobbies help approach parenting with a more balanced and positive mindset.

In submission, don’t expect the situation to improve overnight but it is a process and one that is greatly satisfying once the rebellious teenager spreads his wings and flies out of the nest. Do not punish them harshly when they do something wrong and avoid emotional and physical abuse, it’s unhealthy and counter- productive. Nurture the relationship because if it is damaged and breaks now, it is pretty hard to fix and repair. Give them space to think and reflect and also seek professional help if you feel you are not making any progress with their misbehaviour.

To know that the young rebellious teen today, will be able to soar high in their flights and yet always feel safe and secure to reach out to you when in trouble and in doubt, redeem yourself that you have done a wonderful job as a parent.

Also Read- How Should Parents Respond If Teachers Often Complain About Your Child?How Should Parents Respond If Teachers Often Complain About Your Child?