Childhood Medical Trauma: Tips For Parents To Help Their Teenagers Cope

“Childhood Medical Trauma” refers to a set of psychological and physiological responses of children (and their families) to pain, injury, serious illness, medical procedures, and invasive or frightening treatment experiences. These can be a one-off single event or a series of medical events.

Some of the examples of childhood trauma in addition to medical trauma are childhood sexual, physical, emotional, and psychological abuse; watching an alcoholic parent; being subject to domestic violence whilst growing up; bullying; school violence; gang or religious and political fights; loss of a loved one (especially a pet, grandparent, parent, sibling, best friend); neglect; natural disasters, serious illness; and accident/s that impact their daily functionality.

Dealing with childhood medical trauma without parental help and support, friends, therapy, or medical or pharmacological intervention can be tough and difficult for teenagers, who are anyway navigating through the challenging years of adolescence. This trauma can significantly impact a teenager's mental and emotional well-being. In the worst of cases, it may even manifest as mental illness in adult life.

How To Help Teens Cope

With the right protective factors, support, guidance, and timely interventions, teenagers can learn to manage their emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and move forward with their lives.

Some effective strategies that parents can use to help their teenagers cope:-

Educate your teenager about their condition, event, trauma in a way that they understand what they are going through.

Observe Their Daily Functioning

Know what your child is experiencing. Should the child show signs of dangerous behaviour, or be persistently sad, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed, use and abuse substances, not sleep enough, seem malnourished and weak, want to stay isolated, not go to school, meet friends, etc., intervene and get help immediately.

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Be Empathetic And Supportive

Check in with your teenager about their overall wellness, friendships, relationships, etc. They love to mask their real feelings. Encourage them to talk to you (about anything under the sun) and you be their support system. Should they need professional help, give them the freedom to solicit it.

Listen Actively

Hear, validate, and acknowledge your teenagers’ feelings. Listen and reply to, and clarify their zillion questions and concerns. Validate their experiences. It is okay for them to feel scared, anxious, or angry about certain experiences they had. Reassure your teenager to talk about their experiences and emotions, and acknowledge their feelings as they are real. They must feel that you ‘get’ their narrative and story!

Share Age-Appropriately

Educate your teenager about their condition, event, trauma in a way that they understand what they are going through. The illness, its duration, treatment, and prognosis – everything must be broken down and explained in an age-appropriate way.

Be An Inspiring Role Model

It would be nothing even close to easy for a parent to put up a brave face when their child is going through a trauma, but it is the only bravest thing to do. Our children also pick up our behaviours and mannerisms (including our coping skills in stressful situations) and we need to showcase to them that one particular medical trauma doesn’t define who we are or become.

Manage School Transition

Medical trauma can change a teenager’s school-going routine and even impact their friendships. When they feel misjudged by school friends and peers, teach them that ‘memories are short’ – people in their lives do not remember them only for the event that they have experienced. Friends can be nasty and may lack the emotional maturity needed to support them. Seek intervention from a caring adult, teacher, or supervisor. Ensure school responsibilities and deliverables are not disrupted.

Nurture Independence

Encourage your teenager to ask questions and communicate with doctors during follow-ups. Help them become independent. Let them stand up for themselves, seek answers and share information with you. Empower them to take on their responsibility so that they can start making some small decisions for their own selves.

Be Patient

Explain to your child that they are not responsible for what happened. Healing is a long process and parents need to handhold their children throughout.

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Invite New Interests

Help your kids find their own healthy coping mechanisms – yoga, aerobics, hanging out with good friends, outings, excursions, mindfulness practices, exercising, volunteering, art and music, journaling, or pet therapy – all these shall be helpful for your teenagers to develop some resilience and life skills.

Encourage Volunteering

Get your child to volunteer/intern for a cause close to their heart or get involved in some recovery-related activities; raise funds to help support the cause, and create awareness and attention for Childhood Medical Trauma, thereby contributing and making a difference. Fundraising, outreach programmes, and sensitisation camps with specialists can be arranged to facilitate discussions.

Seek Professional Help

Reach out to a trusted, accredited therapist who can help ease this transition for the teenager. As much as they love you and feel comforted by you, they might need a safe space of their own to express their own fears, anxieties, and feelings. A therapist will provide a non-judgemental environment for your child to explore their emotions. Your teenager will also learn how to manage their anxiety, depression, or PTSD symptoms, as they work through their trauma.

Also Read | Anxiety In School-Going Children: Signs, Types, Tips For Parents

Encourage Support Groups

Specific types of childhood medical trauma may be far from and few in our culture, but not non-existent completely. It is important for us to encourage our kids to support groups – even if available online – where they find themselves belonging to groups and communities that understand what they feel and go through the same feelings. It is also a great cause to start with professional experts on a weekly or monthly basis.

While most of these experiences related to injury, trauma, and medical illness can be tough, uncomfortable, and even frightening for the child to cope with and transit through, parents and caregivers can facilitate the process of healing with absolute compassion, kindness, and empathy.

Nandini Raman is a consultant counsellor; corporate trainer; and columnist with a leading English newspaper. She contributes to a successful weekly column on career guidance and choices. With more than fifteen years of experience in the field, Nandini is guest faculty at many prestigious schools, colleges, and training institutions. She is a hands-on parent to two teenagers.