How To Choose A Mentor : 8 Tips You Should Follow

When times are changing and you are unsure of what to do next, having a good mentor can be the magic that can change your career and personal trajectory. Good mentoring relationships are nurtured over time to yield positive and satisfying outcomes for both mentor and mentee. This article shares some practical tips on choosing a mentor in your career journey through the high school and college years.

Why Do You Need A Mentor?

As a high school student, you may have many questions and apprehensions about your future. You may not be sure of what you want to do in life, how to prepare for your preferred track, deal with work pressure, manage workload, connect with parents amicably regarding your career choices, what internships to take, etc. You might feel the need to talk to someone who understands your concerns without judging you and has walked a similar path a few years back. This is where having a mentor can be beneficial.

How To Choose A Mentor?

Here are a few pointers you should keep in mind while choosing a mentor for yourself.

What Do You Seek?

Ravi, a Class 12 student was preparing for Law entrance exams. He wasn’t sure which subjects to take in Class 11 and was toying with Commerce with Maths as an option. A friendly chat with one of his cousins who was in the third year of Law helped him understand that Humanities is a great pathway to pursuing Law in India. This helped him change his stream and he found that the subjects he studied in his high school were beneficial in the first two years of legal studies too. He had a specific need and reached out to his cousins with specific questions of which subject combinations work best.

What Is Their Background?

Let us understand this through the story of Sushil and Manan.

Sushil’s Background | Sushil was enamoured by his older cousin Manan who had taken to the gym and body building in his college years. A Class 10 student, Sushil was impressionable and wanted quick success and an attractive physique like Manan. Manan came from a business family, and he was going to take over his family business of spare parts, soon. As Manan’s employment was guaranteed, he did not feel the need to work hard to find a job.

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Manan’s Background | Sushil’s father was employed in an IT firm and was a hardworking professional. Sushil would often feel low after speaking with Manan who would talk endlessly about how ‘fun’ his life was without the pressure of having to find employment. Sushil knew he had to work hard and sit through competitive and entrance exams to carve his career.

Discouraging Influence | Clearly, Manan and Sushil have critical differences in their family background and work values. Manan’s influence was discouraging for Sushil and left him feeling craving for a fun life as described by his cousin, Manan.

Manan’s Mentor | Thankfully, Sushil discovered a mentor in his childhood friend Ratan, who had cleared the BBA entrance exam and was doing his internship(s) while he studied. Ratan’s tips motivated Sushil to work and earn success which were critical factors in his life and values.

Also Read | 5 Questions You Must Ask Your Career Counsellor

Do They Walk The Talk?

Observe your mentor and see if the advice or tips they give you are the ones they apply in their life too.

Roopa, an aspiring fashion designer would often go to Vishal for career advice. Vishal’s tips were mostly focussed on working hard, aspiring high, staying motivated etc. However, when Roopa joined Vishal’s organisation for an internship, she noticed that he hardly did any designs himself and would often take credit for work done by others. She chose to ignore it till Vishal took credit for her work too! After this, she noticed how he spent time in endless socialising and pretended to be working hard. This helped her understand that there is a huge gap between what Vishal advises and what he practices.

This was a life lesson for her and in a few months’ time she found a senior she could connect well with in her college itself. She had learnt to listen as well as closely watch the behaviours of her mentor before she found a good match for the future.

Observe your mentor and see if the advice or tips they give you are the ones they apply in their life too.

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Are They Positive And Helpful?

The purpose of having a mentor is to help you grow and find the best in yourself. This can only be done by someone who is positive and has an intention to help and grow others. This a critical factor and one of the most important in seeking a mentor. Check their willingness to help and assist you through multiple interactions, and see if you feel comfortable speaking with them. A good mentor will be helpful and will put you at ease as you connect with them.

Do They Help You Expand Horizons?

Neeta really enjoyed her interactions with her mentor, Riya. Each time she spoke with Riya she felt motivated and heard. She felt she had found the right mentor in Riya for life! While chatting with her colleague Ankur over lunch over an internship project, Neeta realised that Ankur likes the way his mentor challenges him to do more or think differently. Sometimes, his mentor would give him a book to read to widen his perspective. This got Neeta thinking, maybe Riya was a great listener, however she did not challenge Neeta to think more and overcome her gaps. She decided to have a chat with Riya to engage in a problem-solving conversation often, so she felt challenged to grow out of her comfort zone.

A good mentor can guide one along the proper path in life. Be careful, make informed decisions, and make sure you give your best effort in return.

Do They Network Well?

It helps if your mentor has a good professional network and is willing to share references and contacts for future assignments and internships. Apart from that, a mentor who nurtures relationships with colleagues and friends is usually a better bet at helping you navigate tasks and people challenges, as you navigate through assignments, college life and placements.

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Are They A Good Influence?

What is the influence of your mentor on your work, happiness, and social life? Do you feel you have grown through your interactions and advice that you followed? Check this often to make sure you are being led and not “misled”!

Are You A Good Mentee?

See how you can add value to your mentor’s life as all relationships are reciprocal. Small acts of gratitude, volunteering to help, being present for them socially and enhancing mutual learning are essential in the long run. Also, make sure your demands on your mentor’s time and energy are reasonable. You may choose to nurture relationships with more than one mentor as you go through your life and career.

A good mentor can help one steer their life onto the right track. Be mindful, choose wisely, and make sure you reciprocate with your best.

Dr. Srividya is a Career and Life Coach who works with teens, adults and returning professionals to help them find joy and alignment in their careers and lives. After working for over two decades, she founded LifeVidya in 2019 and has worked with hundreds of students, professionals, and women. She can be reached at www.lifevidya.in.